Today I don’t have a lot to say because … I AM PONDERING. 

I visited one of my minister friends in the hospital last night and as I sit there … I PONDERED.  I’ve made so many visits to hospitals and seen so much sickness.  I’ve prayed, sometimes people are MIRACULOUSLY HEALED and sometimes not.  I continue to PONDER.  How can we get ALL of YOUR CHILDREN to grab a hold of their HEALING?  How can we get them to RECEIVE WHAT IS ALREADY THEIRS? 

Lord, I’ve seen so many MIRACLES, been a part of so many and I believe, I TRULY BELIEVE You can do ALL things.  So, if we BELIEVE THAT why won’t we believe that You can do them TO AND THROUGH US?  Lord, why have we watered down Your GOSPEL and YOUR POWER? Why have we changed or tried to change the course of what YOU CAME TO BRING TO US?  You came and GAVE UNTO US SALVATION.  You taught us so much and were able to use those who TRULY BELIEVED IN YOU.  Your Spirit would intervene in so many ways and cause MIRACLES to be seen.  You PROVED YOURSELF to the multitudes time and time again.  Why is it now that Your people just don’t have THAT KIND OF FAITH in You?   Lord, who are we fooling?  Certainly not YOU.  God, I’m PONDERING… 

This is what I want Lord and I believe it is what YOU desire for my life.  I want to CONNECT WITH A PEOPLE WHO HUNGER AND THIRST FOR YOU.  I met a nurse last night that desired the same thing.  I want to connect with a people not looking for fame and fortune in this world but people who are TRULY OPEN TO SERVE YOU.  I want to MOVE IN THE SPIRIT and YOUR SPIRIT MOVE IN AND THROUGH ME.  I want to continue to BE A VESSEL THAT YOU CAN USE.  I want to LEAD SOULS TO YOU and see them WALKING IN THE FREEDOM OF YOU.  I want to touch! hallelujah! those who are sick and they be healed! in Jesus’ name just for the RECEIVING.  I want to just speak the Word and just in the speaking they hear YOU and know that You’re real.  I don’t want to have to jump up and down and scream and rave and get “ugly” for YOU as some so often say.  I want Your presence to be so evident in my life that just the DIVINE CONNECTION be it through face-to-face meeting, or through phone, through internet, through pen and paper … people recognize YOUR LOVE AND YOUR POWER! and desire to come to know YOU too.   Lord, I continue to ponder and thank YOU. 

I just want to continue to PROVE TO YOU that I LOVE YOU WITH MY WHOLE HEART, MY WHOLE SOUL, and MY WHOLE MIND.  I don’t want to have to showcase myself to people.  I just want to be ON YOUR STAGE and I want YOU to be MY ONLY AUDIENCE.  I want to see YOU smile, YOU applaud, YOU hug me, YOU tell me … WELL DONE and yet … I PONDER.  I ponder because I don’t know how to REACH THE WORLD to tell them to GET OVER THEMSELVES and to BE REAL IN THEIR WALKS.  So much greed Lord, so much time wasted.  So much “church” and entertainment but little desire to BE THE CHURCH You desire… and I PONDER. 

Yeah, I know I said I had nothing much to say but maybe I was wrong … again.  I just thought I’d share my “ponderment” with Your people and PRAY that they, too, would sit for a moment and ponder with me and EXAMINE THEMSELVES.  I believe that IF we would, we’d stop some of what we’re doing and ALLOW You to TAKE FULL CONTROL.  So, as I carry on in this day I thank You for just loving me Lord.  I thank You for trusting me and for growing me in ways man never could.  I know there is much work to do so I value these MOMENTS WITH YOU where You allow me to DRAW NEARER TO YOU.  I thank You for these moments when You REVIVE ME for sometimes I get weary but I continue to RUN!.  You told me that’s what You will enable me to do as I wait upon YOU.  You said I’d have RENEWED STRENGTH  (Isaiah 40:31)  I thank You for encouraging my heart and for whispering in my ear … continue.  I, FAITHFULLY, continue knowing that ONLY YOU can show me, only YOU can bring me to the place You desire me to be.  Let YOUR WILL BE MY WILL Lord.  I am Your instrument and I invite You to continue playing me for YOURSELF.  I am Your vessel and as broken as I am sometimes I thank You that You still find use for me.  Thank You for the anointing Lord.  Thank You for allowing me to bask in Your presence…I know it’s okay to take time out to ponder. As Mary, your beautiful and obedient mother did … 



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